::: wrote this while listening to:
I’ll find my voice in the quiet.
Everything has been so loud, I lost myself somewhere in the shuffle. Somewhere behind rose-colored glasses. Somewhere in the darkness. Somewhere within you and them.
I lost myself when the anxieties of finding myself bewildered me.
So I’ll turn my volume down a bit. Your volume. Their volume. Let air fill and escape my lungs more slowly. Find paths for cycled thoughts. Live in moments, not chapters.
I’ll find my voice in the quiet.
Hey, hi, hello! After an unintentional hiatus, I’m back in action with the site’s new look and many brainstorms in process for what’s coming next here.
Over the last few months, I’ve felt stunted by being so swamped with work, conflicting thoughts and feelings. My growth at Create & Cultivate has been thrilling, but I know I also need a personal creative outlet for a balance. Especially now that I’ve made the decision to close the doors of my online clothing brand, Hours Lost.
I need a place to share my thoughts with the masses, as many of my oversharing millennial peers do. Tumblr was my first public platform before I started this blog in 2014, and I became hooked on Twitter and Instagram, utilizing them as microblogs.
I remember when the internet was still fairly new and our parents warned us to not talk to strangers on the internet. Now I chat with “internet friends” on the daily and have befriended a handful in real life! It’s odd to think back to the time when I didn’t have the internet available as a way to share and connect with, and learn from, people from different cities and walks of lives. I’m very much a community seeker, and online platforms have become great avenues for me to tap into a variety of inspiring circles.
With it being summer, my favorite season, I’m feeling very much in the mood to gather with people for not only summertime hangs, but also to work on new projects, whether the project is my own (this blog) or a friend’s. Stay tuned, readers xx
p.s. my bud Pink Skies released his debut song yesterday and it’s groovy as heck. listen:
My eyes hesitantly open. The lower part of my back aches. I was curled up in a strange way. My blankets are held tighter to protect me from the bitter winter morning air. The pillows are unshared today.
It’s Saturday with peace. No 7am alarms from an iPhone or the monotonous barking of my first floor neighbor’s pup. No screen filled with work emails. Less anxiety.
It’s a slower awakening.
I stare at the glow peeking its way through my window shade. I’m missing the stars on my ceiling that occasionally make an appearance. Only if I’m lucky. Only if the sun hits my disco ball the right way.
I pull my grey sheet and cloud-like blankets tighter around my body again. I’ve created a cocoon. Maybe I’m transforming and this is an intimate time. Only myself allowed.
Every year there are several moments when I plan to turn right, and then life is like “tut tut, we’re going left instead.” There is no way in telling what my life will be like in 3 months, 3 weeks, or hell, I don’t even know what 3 hours from now could hold for me. All I can do is hope for the best and make moves. I’m a planner so the uncertainty can feel a little uneasy, but I’m learning to take things on as they come.
I purchased my first instant camera yesterday, and I like that it’s an unpredictable tool. What I snap is what I’m going to get. I’m calling her Patsy. She lives in the moment, wears a glitter case and I adore her already.
Here are some photos I took yesterday at the Beating Lights kick off show in East Hollywood. Great jams, good company and the best vibes.
I put together a 2k17 mood board on Pinterest and playlist (below) to set the tone for this year. Maybe if I put a bit of my spirit, hopes and desires out there, some of it will stick.